YTuesday, February 28, 2006
i've done many wrongs in life..and im never gona escape from it
all the sins and all the obsessions in life just to be complete.
give me a reason not to shed tis tears.a reason that's far from the obvious cuz my vulnerability is takin its toll on me. i make decisions upon decisions and i always will turn my back against them. i spat ultimatums to ppl who hurt me and to myself and i go back on them each time i see a glimpse of hope or relieve.
the best thing that have ever happened to me was being born into tis world into this life.with so many things to learn from and be glad for.
the worst thing was being wat i am now. staring into this box of technology jotting down my heartaches disappointments and pain. finding ways to complete tis emptiness and find things or someone to help me pass this phase of my life faster..an exodus to this continuous letdowns.bollocks.
in the end of all this i know that there aint no escape.that there will be no shortcut to paradise. that i will be in the same place again. that i'd still have to take the long route that's filled with so many waves and crashes.
crossing over to the other side of the world is exhausting..yet i wana be happy.
i dun wana go back on decisions made time and time again.
sometimes i just duno myself..who am i really?
one moment i can be tis heartless apathetic demented ass..the next moment tis lost and clumsy girl who seems to be jinxed and the next this sweet girl who people look up to.
what am i now? like a code waiting to be deciphered.
i hafta figure myself out..wat the heck.
like wat ppl will always say...
"you're only 19".HEH.
_callous_ was here with you at
